coz i'm certainly not at one now. as evidenced by the fact that i was a half hour late this afternoon. my boss calls me back, and i'm like, christ, at least let me get another job before he fires me from this one, and then he starts his speech, and i'm kinda zoning out, coz i just don't CARE, and basically what i hear is this:

... pushed envelope ... tardiness ... 30-day improvement plan ... be here at 2 pm.

blah

blah

blah.

man, what i need is someone to just pay me for whatever. there are so many jobs out there where i KNOW i could be paid, and not badly, for doing stuff that i already do, it's just that i never end up w/ any of those jobs. for instance: game tester. i could ROCK that job. writing? if only i could find whatever Magic Inspiration Button i might have, i could totally storm the world w/ that job. and it's not just crazy cool jobs that i could rock at. pizza delivery girl? that would be alright. occasional tips, lots of time in my beloved car, super independant work enviroment. rock! i saw this one ad for people who run other people's errands for them? i could do that job, super easy! getting a bunch of old people's grocerys for em? NO PROBLEM. i am polite, efficient, and well-mannered. old people love me.

but the insurance business? makes me want to eat my own foot straight off. which is kinda silly, coz normally i love forms. i even kinda like filing. not the papercuts part of course, but the organization part is quite delicious. the problem comes when i have to take phone messages. the problem comes when he wants me to interact w/ [duh duh duuuh!] customers. the problem comes when my boss is disturbed by my chronic 5- or 10-minute tardiness. now today, yes, that was horrible. half an hour? if this were a college class, i wouldn't have bothered to show up, being so late. but 5 or 10 minutes? well, i'm sorry, but you're just going to have to get over that. there has NEVER been a time in my life when i was on time, it just hasn't happened. wasn't on time to my birth, didn't even wanna come out. they had to drag me out. w/ forceps. i never went to bed on time, i never woke up on time, i still don't, on either count. my body clock is 4 hours behind my actual body. why do you think i have a job where i don't have to come in until 2 in the afternoon? I HAVE NO HANDLE ON TIME. NONE.

... ... ... ... ...

lordy, i'm in a pissy mood. this journal is so angsty. it needs a subtitle: i hate the world. or maybe: goth.

plus, i need a new job. coz "30-day tardiness improvement plan" + me = unemployment on swift wings. well, 30-day wings, at any rate. i need to call Delve. i could call people and ask them surveys all day, no problem. the other thing about my current job, the thing that will allow me a proper Reason to Quit is that soon i will be restarting classes, and i'm pretty sure that my current hours will present Serious Conflicts w/ my class schedule. and since i am SOOO much more interested in learning how to build and service PCs than i am in taking all-day, week-long college-level courses on selling insurance, i'm prepared to drop this job like a hot potato in favor of Columbus State Community College.

goodness, do you think this journal could be any more worthless? it's like i'm some little 16 year old on a bad PMS day or something.